


through those deadened eyes

by capaldi



Category: Lost Girl
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-05
Updated: 2013-12-05
Packaged: 2018-01-03 12:48:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capaldi/pseuds/capaldi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>she may be a dead woman walking, but she still sees more than everyone else. a look through tamsin's perspective on the happy sunshine gang.</p>
            </blockquote>





	through those deadened eyes

**Author's Note:**

> this was very spur of the moment so sorry for the awkwardness here and there

It’s the ring where she first meets Dyson. And looking back, it’s more than just a little appropriate. She remembers his rugged look, how quickly it flickers to confusion when she tells him she’s his new partner, and the absolute frenzy when he wolfs out. It gets her blood running in more ways than one, and she just couldn’t wait to get a swing in on that pretty little face.

And she does, later in that same ring. She hits him over and over, and ends with a hook that might actually bruise. He marvels at the blood spilling in his mouth, and she kisses him. He was right, the blood does taste nice.

It’s the last time she punches him though, but not the last time she wants to. He tells her to control herself and she does. This is how the Light play, she surmises. But the urge resurfaces more than once, and every time it’s because of Bo. Bo this, Bo that.  For Bo, he loves her, literally dies for her. For everyone else, there’s that centuries’ worth apathy.

It’s fun for her though, seeing Dyson all tortured like that. To love someone who loves another. Tamsin laughs because Bo thinks Dyson and her are doing this platonic dance when he’s clearly looking to upgrade. And he’ll wait, however long it takes for his turn again. Wolves are like that.

She calls him a hero on their first day, and in that same day she realizes how wrong she was. Hero? No, he isn’t even qualified to be a cop. Nothing more than Bo’s little guard dog.

Looking back, she should have punched him harder, knocked some sense into that skull of his.

Maybe help mask that world of hurt his little girlfriend’s put him in.

\---

The slap comes down harder than she expects.

But she deserves it, more than deserves it. Besides, Tamsin doesn’t hit girls, especially not of the human variety.

It’s the first time she’s alone with Lauren and Tamsin’s fairly certain Lauren hates her. It’s understandable though, because Tamsin _has_ been hunting Bo down since day one. But more to the fact, this is hardly new for Tamsin. Scorn and hatred pretty much comes with her job description.

She’s okay with it, actually prefers it. Because It’s easier to finish the job if they hate her, helps clear her conscience and spark some normalcy in her routine . She’s their executioner -- they _should_ hate her.

So Tamsin sees no reason to reciprocate that hatred, but it’s hard still to intuit how she feels about Lauren. At the same time, it amazes her how everyone loves to dote on Lauren (and maybe pisses her off just a little if she were being honest). Because when she lays out their life side by side, it almost feels unfair. This human girl, with her house with real walls and real furniture still gets to play the damsel in distress half the time.

Yeah, so the Ash owns her. Tamsin has two owners, and lives in a house on wheels.

Even Dyson’s warmed up to her -- they’re apparently each other’s misery companions. The pair of them, both pining for Bo. She knows they go for drinks together because he’s bailed on her more than once ( _sorry, got a date with a human_ , he winks as she tries not to puke). And even Kenzi’s stopped battling Lauren for The Human in Bo’s life. Somehow, the benign doctor with her sad life issues just becomes everyone’s favorite lost puppy.

Not that Tamsin wants any part of that. No, her place is in the battlefield, not with a gooey bunch of misfits.

\---

Kenzi is an enigma, is what Tamsin concludes.

A human, loved as an equal by many of the Fae. Even Vex admits on occasion a certain affection for the pint-sized girl.

Although, when Tamsin sees her in action -- as much as she hates to admit it -- she kind of gets it. Kenzi risks her life just being with Bo, and she doesn’t have to. She could run. Lauren does, and Tamsin doesn’t blame her. It’s what any rational, prudent being would do. You run away from danger, not towards it, and an unaligned succubus is liable to increase your mortality rate tenfold.

But it extends to more than just protecting Bo. She guards Lauren when the Ash coming a-knocking, seeks out and fights the Norn for Dyson, joins the battle against the Garuda even when Tamsin’s own kind cowers away.

Sometimes Tamsin thinks Kenzi is the real hero here, not Bo. Because she does all those things with only the power of words and those tiny flailing arms.

Dyson dubs it the human element, the surprising and sometimes endearing factor.

Tamsin disagrees. It’s nothing to do with humans and everything to do with Kenzi. There’s a bravery, a loyalty, and an earnest desire to help. Sure, she masquerades in those heels and leather and heavy-duty eyeliner, but there’s a softness in her. The kind that changes people.

Bo calls it heart, and Tamsin wholeheartedly agrees.

\---

Bo is a murderer, possible psychopath.

Later, as Tamsin discovers, only one of those things is false.

But Bo doesn’t want to kill -- can’t even recall the events in question. It’s that undiscovered part of her that gravitates towards those killer instincts. Bo’s lost when it comes to her powers, to this new Fae world, and Tamsin gets it because she’s the same way at the turn of every life cycle.

So she lies to the Morrigan, and gets away with just a warning. Not that it changes anything because murderer or not, there will always be a target on Bo’s back. Tamsin might not be the one who puts it there, but she’ll be the one to follow through.

_He knows you found her. Now it’s time to finish the job._

Bo says there’s always a choice, but Tamsin’s not so sure. There’s a certain naivety attached to the young, and Bo was as young and naive as they come. Unaligned, it isn’t completely unheard of, but most definitely not recommended. Choosing sides isn’t like deciding between apples and oranges. It’s your identity, your family, the people you choose to see through your miserable miserable life.

_We were wondering how you can just walk in here when you’re clearly Light._

Tamsin wonders the same thing. Bo was the Ash’s champion for the fight against the Garuda, and makes a habit of hanging out with the Light on a regular basis. _It’s not the initiation ceremony that makes you Light or Dark, it’s the stuff ingrained in your blood from day one_ , is what Acacia used to always tell her. Tamsin buys into this because being born a monster is better than choosing to be one.

_I choose humans._

Tamsin wishes she was there for the carnage. The looks from the onlookers, the anger from the Elders, and the inevitable surliness across the Morrigan’s face.

When she first meets Bo, she too, jumps on the naivety train and dismisses the whole unaligned business as just some New Age bullshit. But the more she sees, the more she understands. Bo does things for herself, for the people she loves, and doesn’t answer to any higher power. Bo’s not righteous, she’s just right, and Tamsin doesn’t know which she hates more.

It’s why Bo doesn’t choose the Light because the Light is nothing like its name. Lauren and Dyson and Hale, they see it as the holier side but really, the Light’s just a tamer, preachier version of the Dark. It’s why Tamsin pledges to the Morrigan, because the Dark are unapologetic, and at the very least, honest about their atrocities.

Tamsin needs a family too, needs protection, because she knows her Other Master is the type to just let her die. And hanging with a pack of monsters makes it more bearable seeing herself in the mirror.

_Finish it._

When Bo refuses, Tamsin almost scowls. She should have known really, because Bo never does as she’s told. But what really infuriates her is even as she turns around and presses the sharp edge of the weapon against Bo’s throat, there’s not even a sliver of hatred in those eyes. Just a resounding, residual sadness.

Ah, so that's what it was. Bo, she’s the best of them.


End file.
